364 days...

weird.

Why I hate bridal shops and the WIC

Dr. Whimsy found that sample dress that I bought and I got totally hosed.  According to The Knot, the dress I bought on "clearance" for $300 fits into their "$151-250" price category.

(Dress by Bari Jay)

If you live in Rochester, do NOT go to Peggy's Bridal on Monroe Ave.  They suck!

Wedding attire - Women - Part Deux

For part one go here.

New plan for the ladies.  Black knee-length cocktail dresses (whatever is already in their closet is fine), matching green shoes, coordinating scarfs and jewelry.  I would ask each lady to pay for her shoes and possibly the scarf, I would likely give the jewelry as a gift.

I hate David's Bridal, but I have to give them credit, they can dye shoes almost any color you can think of, so shoes might be from DB...  Also, I do enjoy their "Dress Your Wedding Party" feature.  Here is an example of how my wedding party might look...

... I couldn't get all the greens to match, but (obviously) the idea would be for them to match at the actual wedding.  Also, the men will be in dark suits, not tuxes (I really dislike tuxes).

Practice?

I love arranging flowers.  I find it very soothing and meditative; its very be in the moment yoga-ish for me.  And then for 5-10 days I have a small bit of loveliness in my home (this is especially important during the long Rochester winters).  I love doing it so much that I'm seriously considering putting together my own arrangements for the wedding.  The reasons I might not:

• I have no idea how I would get the flowers to the venue - I really don't want to have to deal with it
• I'm not convinced I could make a bouquet, maybe with multiple practice sessions
  
• I'm a med student, therefore I have some OCD tendencies, thus there is a 50/50 chance of me freaking out and becoming some crazy bridezilla while attempting to arranging the flowers

Yesterday as I was doing my shopping, I passed through the flower area and they had two of the three flowers I want at the wedding in the right color, plus some filler that went well, so I clearly had to get some to do a trial run of the flowers in the antique bottles.

Flowers purchased:

• 1 bunch (3 stems) white hydrangea ($14.99)
  
• 1 bunch (10 stems) white lisianthus ($9.99)
  
• 1 bunch (4 stems) dark purple "filler #2" (might be aster) ($2.99)
  
• Total cost $27.97 - made 2 large and 2 small arrangements
• I think I will need around 12 large and 12 small arrangements for all the tables - estimated cost: $170
• I compared the Wegman's prices to American Floral Distributors (a wholesaler) and Wegman's beat them in each case.  For the lisianthus, AFD charged $7 MORE for a 10 stem bunch!  If I DIY the flowers I think I might order them from Wegman's

(At the wedding I also want to include ranunculus in white or light purple.)

Results:

(I'm still loving this rectangular prescription bottle)

What I learned:

• Even the wide mouth bottles are a little too narrow - I would have liked the option of fitting in more stems, so that I could vary the fullness of the arrangements more; mason jars might be a good option for tall bottles with a wider mouth
• The narrow mouth bottles are very narrow - only 2 or 3 stems fit in, but it works in groupings with the larger arrangements
• I generally like the look - simple, elegant, a little rustic (like our venue)
• I need to get more bottles, especially some shorter bottles with both wide and narrow mouths to allow for more height variation among the arrangements 

*photos by me

omg, omg, omg, omg... (squeal)!  Eric had been booked for the weekend of our wedding, but just a couple of days ago the couple moved their date, and he is now available.  I am going to be seriously talking to him sometime soon.  I'm totally freaking out (in a good way).  Maybe something amazing will happen and I'll actually be able to pay him.

Photographer insanity

Now that we have a date and a location my next goal is finding a spectacular photographer at a reasonable cost.  This is proving much more difficult than anticipated.  There are quite a number of good photographers in the Rochester area, but I'm not convinced their worth the steep prices they charge.  I don't think there is a single photographer I've liked who base price is under $2500.  So what do I do?  I email Eric Lauritus.  Because I'm clearly a little insane.  (His base price is $5000)  You may remember my raving about Eric in this post, and I'm still raving.  His pictures of complete strangers make me cry (ok, not cry, because I don't do that, but literally tear-up).  I think I've been pretty sane about most wedding related things so far - I'm resisting The Dress, I've been cutting the guest list, I'm making invitations, Beau is iPoding the music - but I might actually go off the deep end on this.  I am in love with his photography.  If I could have any one thing for my wedding (other than Beau, duh) it would be him.  I would have a City Hall wedding with 10 people and dinner at Taco Bell if only he would be there photographing it - and you know what, it would be stunning and everyone in the wedding blog world would envy my City Hall/Taco Bell wedding because he is that good.

Ok, done with that bit of insanity.  Well not done.  I did actually email him to assess his availability. Maybe he is available and has a poor teacher marrying a poorer medical/graduate student rate.  Maybe he'll work on an IOU based on future earning potential...  I don't have money now, but eventually I'll be a doctor, and I'll have money to pay for crazy expensive wedding photography.

Bouquets

A thought I had tonight while dealing with some insomnia - do our female "honored guests" require bouquets? I had always assumed that they would have them, but now I don't know, it suddenly seems weird to me. Besides some of them have tasks, like playing the violin and holding a chuppah that would make holding a bouquet difficult, so do they not get a bouquet, but the others do? If we don't do bouquets will their hands seem empty? Will I seem cheap if I have a bouquet and the other ladies do not? Will anyone but me even notice?

*photo from The Knot by way of The Un-Bride - I love the simple elegance of these bouquets, plus, magnolias are dear to my heart since the street we live on is lined with magnolia trees and for 1 week a year it is the most beautiful place in the world.

cost cutting already

On Friday evening we met with the owner of the Rabbit Room, put down our deposit and went over more of the details for the wedding so that she could put together a proposed budget for us. When it came today I was in shock. I had already put together a budget based on all the costs I knew about for 100 people and mine came out almost $3000 less than hers AND hers was for only 95 people. Granted, some of the costs are reasonable, and I just wouldn't have known with out specifically asking - for example the $2.95 per person charge for non-alcoholic beverages, or the 20% gratuity (I had calculated 17% thinking this was a very reasonable gratuity considering how much you are already spending), or the cost of the chair rentals that I knew we would need for the ceremony.

But other things seemed very unreasonable. When discussing dessert Beau and I both said that we did not want a traditional wedding cake and that we wanted there to be a number of different dessert options. Somehow this got onto a discussion on frostings and my dislike of almost all frostings that aren't real homemade whipped cream, with this information she suggested a homemade strawberry short cake. Beau and I were totally sold, until I saw the charge - $350 for strawberry short cake ($3.50 per person). Granted I have to double check if this includes other small dessert items or is just for the cake, but if its just cake, its totally getting nixed. I'm not paying $350 for one cake. Another thing on the list for the chopping block: the Champagne Toast - for $2.50 per person, people can just go to the open bar that we are already paying for. I think I may also change one of our passed hors d'oeuvres - as much as I want tuna tar tare at the wedding, $104 per 50 pieces is a little much, and as of now we are having seared ahi tuna at one of the stations.

I also cut a few people from the guest list last night, its really hard, but now I'm even more convinced it needs to be done.

Engagement Party

Last weekend one of my dearest childhood friends (Big D) threw us the most lovely, unpretentious, homemade with love engagement party with the help of her husband (C), her mom (Char) and another dear friend Obear.  

We invited about 30 people and all 24 people who RSVPed yes (plus me and Beau) arrived.  It was the first time that I had what I consider my American family (a mix of family, family friends, high school friends, their parents and Beau's family) all in one place at one time.  At one point as people were arriving I started tearing because I was so happy not just to see them all, but to see them all together.  

D, C and O prepared chicken, beef and lamb shish kebab that C grilled and was served with rice.  Obear made a huge amount pasta with homemade pesto.   There was also guacamole, salsa and chips, tomato with fresh mozzarella, beer, hard lemonade, and punch.  My mom made one of my favorite cakes and Obears parent's made two amazing pies - literally, completely from scratch.  

Despite the threat of rain, it was sunny and warm for the entire party so we were able to relax and catch up in Char's backyard.  I just wish it was longer.  I feel like even with only 25 people there, I did not have enough time to spend with everyone.  I guess that is motivation to start cutting the guest list - over the past few months our 85 person list has grown to a 110 person list.  I can't even blame it on Beau, he made a list and it has remained the same list, unchanging over the months, my list just keeps on getting larger...  I need to do some serious thinking about who I really want to be there.

More invitation experimentation

My newest invitations using InDesign, Photoshop and these swatches, which I now remember are from iDIY.  Beau prefers the one on the left, I prefer the one on right.  Thoughts?

I'm a little annoyed at how the color of the pattern is showing up.  In Photoshop and InDesign and when printed its much less bright - more of an olive.

I also printed them out on the back of some invitations left over from a shower I threw last summer to see the quality of our printer.  I think that the quality is really quite good.  

These pictures are also not showing the color quite right - its not that brown.

Shout out to Budget Savvy Bride where I got some of my font inspiration.  I ended up using:

• Bickham Script Two
  
• Imprint MT Shadow
  
• Copperplate Gothic Light
  
• Ornament Scrolls and Flourishes
  

Eventually, I want to make a Hebrew version, and possibly a German version to mail the overseas family, but finding nice (free) fonts has been an issue.  I also can't seem to figure out how to get my computer to type the Hebrew from right to left - its really annoying trying to type stuff in reverse!

Wedding in 3 places?

So we are trying to figure out what do about seeing my international family (everyone except my parents and sister) for wedding celebrations.  Right now we are stuck on when; let alone where, how much, etc. 

(View of an old church from the hills around Jerusalem, Israel)

We chose a wedding date based on when the weather would be nice, the venue would be the cheapest, and it would be most convenient for guests in the US to come.  Unfortunately, Beau will still be teaching for another 3-4 weeks after the wedding which means that we couldn't be able to go anywhere until July at the earliest.  Unfortunately, this is one of the most expensive times to travel (tickets to Israel could easily cost

 $1200-1500 EACH!) and Beau would not do well in the Israeli heat and humidity in July or Aug.  We could probably buy tickets to Israel through a European or US carrier with a stop in Germany, so that we would hopefully not have to pay extra (other than hotels/food) to see my dad's family.

(A beach near Tel Aviv, Israel)

My newest thought (which I have no idea if it would be OK with my grad advisor or my family or Beau) is to get to at least Israel in April during Beau's spring break.  The weather should be lovely, and the tickets a little less expensive (maybe around $1000, or we might be able to use miles).  We could have a reception with my lovely Israeli family (I could, in theory, wear my dress - wearing it twice halves the cost, right?).  With this option there is also still the possibility of stopping over in Germany to see the other half of my family.  Then I would still have about 1.5 months from when we get back to finalize all the US wedding stuff.

(The famous "Ahava" -"love"- statue at the Israel Museum in Jerusalem, Israel)

With multiple receptions is it OK (etiquette-wise) to have a reception before the actual marriage ceremony so is it considered somehow rude?  I guess we could always go to city hall and have a civil ceremony before all the of receptions and then have the religious ceremony at our US reception?

All images by me.  I don't have any recent pictures of Germany because I haven't been there in almost a decade (sadness).

The anti-boutonniere

So in the midst of planning the wedding Beau and I have both realized we dislike boutonnieres, both of the flower and non-flower variety.  I think we are going to do pocket squares instead.  I think our gentlemen honored guests and fathers, would like very dapper in dark suits with matching ties and pocket squares.  I'm thinking green.  Does anyone know a place to get matching ties and pocket squares?

Image from here.  (The link also has instructions for some of the many ways you can fold a pocket square)

My migraine mostly went away yesterday - still had a bad headache, but it wasn't a migraine and I was (mostly) functional again.  The dexamethasone sucks - its making my legs cramp and sometimes my heart feels like its racing, but I can think again!

Thanks your thoughts and concerns.

My headache specialist prescribed some heavy-duty meds, so I'm actually feeling better... but not before I messed up one of my experiments.  Oh well.  

I'm currently on:

• Axert
  
• Dexamethasone
  
• Hydroxyzine

I still have a headache and I'm pretty nauseous (despite an antiemetic), but I'm not cringing at sounds or shying away from the light and I can mostly think again.  Hooray, drugs!  As long as my migraine doesn't come back tomorrow, the rest of the week should only be above average awful, instead of completely and utterly awful.

Migraine

Today is the 3rd day in a row I've had a migraine.  I'm at the lab desperately trying to get work done before it gets so bad that I can't focus at all.  This blows.  

Migraine treatment by day:

• Monday - lots of Advil + bed
  
• Tuesday - Maxalt + Vicodin + bed (I've never had a migraine so bad I've needed the vicodin)
  
• Wednesday - ???
  

Help.

Sorry for the lack of recent posting.  Lab and school work have been pretty crazy and we've had out of town guests for multiple weekends in a row now.  BUT, I do have some lovely news!  We have decided on the date and venue!

May 30th, 2010

 at 

The Lower Mill

We are signing the paperwork and putting down a deposit next week, and hopefully I don't completely stress out before then.  I've been meaning to post pictures of the Lower Mill for awhile now, but none of our pictures do it justice.  I'm hoping to get some good pictures when we go to sign the paperwork, now that spring has finally decided to come to Western NY!