Less Than $500

Dresses at Nordstrom, all under $500!

None of them give me the same "aww, must have" moment as when I saw the Birnbaum and Bullock or the Pronovias dresses, but they are cheap and look good.  There is a Nordstrom near my mom's house, so I think I will have to go try some on.

Engagement Ring Part 4 - Impatience!

In a week we will be buying my rock, and deciding where to have it set (I guess I should call some places in the ROC to find out how much that would cost).  I've decided on a rectangular radiant cut, in a simple solitaire trellis setting.  

With the money Jewelry Gal is saving us, I will probably end up with close to a carat of good (not great) quality in a platinum setting all for about $1K less than I thought we would spend!  The radiant cut stone should be plenty sparkly on its own, so no sidestones.  But if I end up wanting more sparkle I can always get a wedding band with stones.  

Now that I've decided I'm getting really impatient!  I want my ring, like yesterday!  I'm hoping that by Christmas I will be an officially engaged lady.  

Speaking of Christmas, The Beau's family doesn't know we are engaged yet, and I'm trying to think of a cute way to tell them at Christmas, either by way of a book or card or present.  Any thoughts, because I've got nothing...

Damn peer pressure

I've decided that one of the reasons why I'm freaking out about my ring (other than I'm picky and a perfectionist and a wannabe princess) is that spending your life in a hospital is a great way to get ring envy.  Everywhere I look there are women with giant, gorgeous, sparkly rings.  Even the medical students (who are in massive debt) and graduate students (who make barely enough to live) generally also have large, gorgeous rings.  Obviously some of the students have significant others who aren't in school and have a nice salary, but a lot of them don't, a lot of their significant others are also students.  I would love to know how they are affording these rings!

Over the weekend I went with the lovely Doctor Whimsy to a local chain jewelry store, so that I could pick out a cut and a setting to tell Jewelry Gal.  (BTW, I picked a rectangular radiant on a trellis setting - more on this another time)  While we were there we ran into one of our medical school classmates (lets call him Over Achiever) and his girlfriend (Sweetheart) - they were also looking at rings.  I know both relatively well and Sweetheart invited us over to see the setting that she had picked out.  I was a little shocked when I saw the price tag -$1500- but for platinum setting with sidestones, not bad.  As we were there the sales person was showing them 1.3ct round of decent quality to go with it - easily another $6000+ (based on BlueNile prices).  Now I was in shock.  How in the world could Over Achiever afford such a ring?!?

I'm not sure how my classmates are paying for these rings, maybe they are just going into even more debt.  I guess when your already going to be around $150,000 in debt and your future earning potential is over 6-figures, what's another $10,000?  

I personally was raised to avoid debt like the plague.  Obviously some is unavoidable (especially while in school), but I definitely try to minimize it as much as possible.  Beau is planning on paying for my ring with money in savings (he won't let me help pay), and I'm trying to balance keeping costs down with the pressure I feel to have a ring that will look good compared to all the other rings in the hospital...  I think I'm succeeding, but there are times I feel pressure to go back to my original budget, instead of my decreased budget after choosing to work Jewelry Gal so that I can get an even bigger, better ring.

Engagement Ring Part 3 - Florida

Turns out my dad knows a guy - well actually, a gal.  Jewelry Gal is the mother of one of Dad's former PhD students.  Jewelry Gal and her husband really like Dad and have been friends since their daughter studied in Dad's lab.  When Dad remarried, Jewelry Gal sold him his wife's engagement ring pretty much at cost and saved him about $2000.  Jewelry Gal is lovely, answers questions honestly, told me wholesale pricing on a couple stones in the range I was interested in and is willing to help me.  Because I want a nice ring without spending a small fortune, I really want to use Jewelry Gal.  I'm hoping that I can cut my ring budget by about $1000-1500 and end up with the same ring I would have had otherwise.  

Of course there is a downside.  Gal and her jewelry shop are in Florida.  I am not in Florida, I am no where near Florida and I have no opportunities to travel to Florida in the near future - crap.  This would seem like an insurmountable problem since I'm not the type of person to buy a diamond without seeing it, but my daddy has come to the rescue!  Dad and wife already have plans to travel to Florida the first week of December and already have plans to see Jewelry Gal.  The rest of this crazy (completely not romantic) scenario only works because I trust both Dad and Jewelry Gal.  Jewelry Gal is going to work with me over the next two weeks so that she understands exactly what I want and how much I have to spend and will have some stones available when she sees Dad and wife.  With me looking at digital pictures and talking to Dad over the phone we will then pick out my stone.  I then have the option of having it set by Jewelry Gal or having it Fed-Exed to me to be set here.  Completely crazy and totally not romantic!  But, I just keep thinking about all the other uses Beau and I could have for the money we save.  

I'll keep you posted on how it goes.  I'm going this weekend with the lovely Doctor Whimsy to look at cuts in local jewelry stores so I can tell Jewelry Gal exactly which cut I want.  I had pretty much decided on emerald, but Jewelry Gal suggested a rectangular radiant and the more I've looked online, the more I think this might be the right cut for me... I get the fire and sparkle of a round or princess cut, but the elongated shape that looks best on my hand.  Now I just have to go see some in person!

More Dresses

One of these days, I might actually go dress shopping, but until then I will drool over pictures.  Here are a couple dresses that I like from Peter Langner.  The hair and pose of the first model is quite unappealing, but despite her hideousness I think that the dress could be quite lovely.  

Prop 8

While I was writing that last post the Los Angeles Times updated their website. They are reporting that with more than 95% of the vote counted Prop 8 was approved 52.1% to 47.9%. Similar measures were also passed by large margins in Arizona and Florida.

I'm angry, depressed and shocked. I generally try to be respectful and tolerant of all views, opinions, and beliefs. The one caveat is that I just cannot deal with people who want to foist their beliefs onto those around them - like with Prop 8.

I have no tolerance left for intolerant people. I want them gone.

Post-Election Commentary

I'm so very excited that Obama won, but my happiness is tempered because (as of now) Proposition 8 in California (a proposed amendment to the state constitutional that would effectively ban gay marriage) is passing.

I love my Beau so much and I'm so saddened when I think of all the people out there that love just as I do, but who can't stand up and have their love and commitment publicly and legally recognized. To be completely honest, after the last two elections I didn't dare hope that Obama would win, I was convinced that the GOP would find a way to take this victory away, but I never doubted that Prop 8 would be defeated. I'm also very scared. If social conservatives can get such a bigoted and discriminatory law passed in arguably the most liberal state in the union they will become emboldened and go do it elsewhere. I can't believe I'm living in a place where in one day we can shed years of discrimination for how people look and elevate the first black man to the nations highest office, but at the same time codify the discrimination of another group of people for how they love.

Maybe something will change as more precincts report in, but I don't have anymore hope left right now.