106

So one of my wedding registries has a count-down to the wedding day. Apparently there are 106 days left. Makes me very stressed and very excited. Still so much to do.

Last week I shipped my engagement ring to our jeweler in Florida to fit with a wedding band. This came in an email today - hopefully the real thing will be arriving next week! There are still a few things to tweak - they are making the wedding band a little narrower - its about 0.5mm wider than anticipated.

I just love looking at the picture. I have no idea how I'm going to get through about 100 days with it sitting in my apartment NOT wearing it. Its one of the few times recently that a wedding related activity has been extremely joyous and not stressful. (Caveat - having to ship my engagement ring to Florida was stressful, but otherwise not stressful)

I love my jeweler. I love not having to worry that I'm being swindled. I love that everything she does comes out practically perfect.

Oh - I'm meeting with our photographer on Thursday evening and I should (hopefully) be getting some edited versions of our e-photos back, so look out for a post Friday or over the weekend!

New Years Update

Hello world happy new year!

A quick update since I've been ignoring my little blog recently.  

First, I got my ring a few days before Christmas, the story is totally not romantic and involves tracking down a delayed priority mail delivery, a fed-ex box and PJs.  The ring is exactly what I wanted, but not at all how I thought it would look (does that makes sense?).  That said, I love it and wouldn't want anything else.  However, there are times when it seems really grown up and elegant and too nice for me.

Second, one of the reasons I've been ignoring my little blog is because I've been feeling very apathetic towards planning my wedding.  Its more than a year away, and I feel no immediate rush.  This might all be changing soon...  If the weather permits I'll be making my way to NYC this weekend for a sample sale at Birnbaum & Bullock, and I may also make appointments at Pronovias and Kleinfeld's.  I'm also trying to figure out where to try on Nicole Miller wedding dresses - she advertises a number of dresses on her website for under $1000, and I actually like them!  Finally, if i get sometime this week I might also go try on dresses here, just to see what looks good on me and what I like.  I'm horribly indecisive, and I want some basis from which to make a decision if I see something I like at Birnbaum & Bullock.

Thats all for now.  I promise that eventually I will post about the one venue we've seen, and that if I go to NYC this weekend I will blog about it.

Engagement Ring Part 1million...

I'm a little obsessed with my engagement ring.  I've been an annoying brat pestering Beau about it multiple times a day since the day we decided what to get.  Today he told me that he got a picture of it by email, and I was so happy that its finally set, but also exasperated because he flatly refused to forward me the picture.  Damn, him!

I think a big reason I want the ring so badly is that I despite the fact that we are clearly engaged, I don't really feel engaged.  For example, I'm in Jersey for a few days and whenever I come home my mom and I always go into The City (ie NYC - the only city that matters) and I was planning on making appointments at Pronovias and Birnbaum and Bullock just to see - dresses go on sale this time of year so maybe I would get lucky.  But when it came down to it I felt a little embarrassed going to such fancy places without a ring.  I was a little afraid that they wouldn't take me seriously and think that I was wasting their time, or that they would look down on me.  I know how ridiculous that sounds because when it comes down to it I am the dress buyer and they are the people who work there for minimum wage.

Also while in the city today, my mom and I were walking down 5th Ave and as we were passing by Tiffany's we just decided to go in.  My mom has never had any diamond jewelry (mostly by choice), so she wanted to see sizes, and I had never been in Tiffany's so why not?  We went up to the engagement ring floor - literally, they have an entire floor devoted to engagement rings - and we looked a around a little and found rings similar to mine (the Lucida and the Novo for those that know Tiffany stones/settings).  Clearly, we weren't there to buy, but a saleswoman was nice enough to take stuff out to show us.  I tried on a few rings, price range $17000-24000 and I doubt I will ever have anything so expensive on ever again!!!  The rings were quite lovely, even the ones in under $10000 cases were beautiful - to be honest, other than size I couldn't tell the difference between a $8000 or a $17000 Lucida ring.  The stones Tiffany's uses are clearly of the highest quality.  I now have a better understanding of why you pay a premium for them - the stones I've seen at places like Jared's don't even compare.  As we were leaving I saw at least four couples sitting with salespeople, sipping champagne and picking rings, and I was kind of disappointed that Beau and I couldn't have a similar experience.  We may have saved a ton of money, but it was certainly not romantic.  I also realized that as much as I want to know exactly when my ring is arriving, I'm really happy that Beau is planning on surprising me with it in some romantic way.  

Engagement Ring Part 4 - Impatience!

In a week we will be buying my rock, and deciding where to have it set (I guess I should call some places in the ROC to find out how much that would cost).  I've decided on a rectangular radiant cut, in a simple solitaire trellis setting.  

With the money Jewelry Gal is saving us, I will probably end up with close to a carat of good (not great) quality in a platinum setting all for about $1K less than I thought we would spend!  The radiant cut stone should be plenty sparkly on its own, so no sidestones.  But if I end up wanting more sparkle I can always get a wedding band with stones.  

Now that I've decided I'm getting really impatient!  I want my ring, like yesterday!  I'm hoping that by Christmas I will be an officially engaged lady.  

Speaking of Christmas, The Beau's family doesn't know we are engaged yet, and I'm trying to think of a cute way to tell them at Christmas, either by way of a book or card or present.  Any thoughts, because I've got nothing...

Damn peer pressure

I've decided that one of the reasons why I'm freaking out about my ring (other than I'm picky and a perfectionist and a wannabe princess) is that spending your life in a hospital is a great way to get ring envy.  Everywhere I look there are women with giant, gorgeous, sparkly rings.  Even the medical students (who are in massive debt) and graduate students (who make barely enough to live) generally also have large, gorgeous rings.  Obviously some of the students have significant others who aren't in school and have a nice salary, but a lot of them don't, a lot of their significant others are also students.  I would love to know how they are affording these rings!

Over the weekend I went with the lovely Doctor Whimsy to a local chain jewelry store, so that I could pick out a cut and a setting to tell Jewelry Gal.  (BTW, I picked a rectangular radiant on a trellis setting - more on this another time)  While we were there we ran into one of our medical school classmates (lets call him Over Achiever) and his girlfriend (Sweetheart) - they were also looking at rings.  I know both relatively well and Sweetheart invited us over to see the setting that she had picked out.  I was a little shocked when I saw the price tag -$1500- but for platinum setting with sidestones, not bad.  As we were there the sales person was showing them 1.3ct round of decent quality to go with it - easily another $6000+ (based on BlueNile prices).  Now I was in shock.  How in the world could Over Achiever afford such a ring?!?

I'm not sure how my classmates are paying for these rings, maybe they are just going into even more debt.  I guess when your already going to be around $150,000 in debt and your future earning potential is over 6-figures, what's another $10,000?  

I personally was raised to avoid debt like the plague.  Obviously some is unavoidable (especially while in school), but I definitely try to minimize it as much as possible.  Beau is planning on paying for my ring with money in savings (he won't let me help pay), and I'm trying to balance keeping costs down with the pressure I feel to have a ring that will look good compared to all the other rings in the hospital...  I think I'm succeeding, but there are times I feel pressure to go back to my original budget, instead of my decreased budget after choosing to work Jewelry Gal so that I can get an even bigger, better ring.

Engagement Ring Part 3 - Florida

Turns out my dad knows a guy - well actually, a gal.  Jewelry Gal is the mother of one of Dad's former PhD students.  Jewelry Gal and her husband really like Dad and have been friends since their daughter studied in Dad's lab.  When Dad remarried, Jewelry Gal sold him his wife's engagement ring pretty much at cost and saved him about $2000.  Jewelry Gal is lovely, answers questions honestly, told me wholesale pricing on a couple stones in the range I was interested in and is willing to help me.  Because I want a nice ring without spending a small fortune, I really want to use Jewelry Gal.  I'm hoping that I can cut my ring budget by about $1000-1500 and end up with the same ring I would have had otherwise.  

Of course there is a downside.  Gal and her jewelry shop are in Florida.  I am not in Florida, I am no where near Florida and I have no opportunities to travel to Florida in the near future - crap.  This would seem like an insurmountable problem since I'm not the type of person to buy a diamond without seeing it, but my daddy has come to the rescue!  Dad and wife already have plans to travel to Florida the first week of December and already have plans to see Jewelry Gal.  The rest of this crazy (completely not romantic) scenario only works because I trust both Dad and Jewelry Gal.  Jewelry Gal is going to work with me over the next two weeks so that she understands exactly what I want and how much I have to spend and will have some stones available when she sees Dad and wife.  With me looking at digital pictures and talking to Dad over the phone we will then pick out my stone.  I then have the option of having it set by Jewelry Gal or having it Fed-Exed to me to be set here.  Completely crazy and totally not romantic!  But, I just keep thinking about all the other uses Beau and I could have for the money we save.  

I'll keep you posted on how it goes.  I'm going this weekend with the lovely Doctor Whimsy to look at cuts in local jewelry stores so I can tell Jewelry Gal exactly which cut I want.  I had pretty much decided on emerald, but Jewelry Gal suggested a rectangular radiant and the more I've looked online, the more I think this might be the right cut for me... I get the fire and sparkle of a round or princess cut, but the elongated shape that looks best on my hand.  Now I just have to go see some in person!

Engagement Ring Part 2 and My Uncertainty

So yesterday we met the jeweler - David West Nytch of West and Company (there is link to his blog at the bottom of the page).  He was great!  David sat with us for over an hour and explained about diamonds and about the custom design process, answered all of our questions (and the ones I called back with a couple hours later...) and looked at pictures of rings that I liked that I had found on the internet.  There was not a single point where I felt pressured to try on rings, to buy something, to commit to something right then or to spend more than the (relatively small) budget we had presented to him.  I was also really happy with the courtesy and respect he showed us.  (As an aside - The Beau bought me a beautiful necklace for the holidays last year and went into a number of jewelry stores where he was made to feel very unwelcome and unimportant because he clearly did not have buckets of money to spend, so I think this was a nice change for him.)  David did not show us a single ring and the only reason I tried any on was because he had some that I had seen online and kind of liked and I wanted to try them on.  Overall, I was impressed with the store, the quality of the merchandise I saw there and David's attitude.  It was a really weird feeling being in a jewelry store and not being on the defensive.

My taste in rings is a little off the beaten path  - I want an emerald or oval cut stone (most likely emerald) and I like simple, clean, elegant designs.  Here is an example of a ring I like from Tiffany's, though I definitely don't like the price...

I maybe completely off here, but I got the impression that David is particularly interested in creating a ring for me because he rarely gets requests for emerald or oval cut stones - he doesn't even normally keep any in stock!  I knew that they were definitely less popular than round or princess cuts, but I guess because Tiffany's advertises both emerald and oval rings I thought they were a little more mainstream than they actually are.

So here is my uncertainty...  After the excitement of actually going ring shopping wore off I started second guessing our budget.  We set the budget about 6 month ago when we first started more seriously talking about getting engaged, and it seemed reasonable and a relatively small amount when considering diamond rings.  But since then there have been some expected (moving) and unexpected expenses (car repairs, owing money to the IRS instead of getting money back, economic meltdown) and there is less money in the bank and I just feel guilty spending all that money on one thing.  Even though it is one thing that I really want, that will most likely be made specially for me and that I anticipate having the rest of my life...  I'm generally quite indecisive (deciding on a restaurant to go to dinner can often be a difficult decision, let alone what to order) and only gets worse when its about spending lots of money - money that we don't necessarily have and that we may need for more important things.  

The Beau is also insisting on paying for the entire thing himself, which I both like and dislike.  I like it because its such a nice gesture and I know he wants to do this really great thing for me.  I dislike it because I'm a feminist.  I'm a modern independent gal - I didn't wait around for The Beau to propose to me.  We are a couple, we make decisions as couple and decided to progress to the next step in our relationship as a couple and if I want an engagement ring we should purchase it as a couple.  Also, I dislike the idea that I've been "bought" or "claimed" with a ring.  I also dislike that I will be wearing a very obvious symbol of our relationship while he will not be until after the marriage.  I am seriously considering getting him an engagement ring to go with mine.  This ring would probably become his wedding band when the time arrived.

WOW!  Longest post yet.  Surprisingly, I feel a little better now.  Maybe I can flat out ask David what the minimum amount we can spend and make a ring with a quality stone (I don't need or even want a large stone)?  I wonder what his answer would be?  If I ask, I'll post the answer.

Engagement Ring Part 1

Tomorrow we are going to look at rings for the first time!  I found an independent jeweler nearby who seems very reputable and helpful.  I'm a little worried that our small budget may be too small for his time...  But I've been to the cheaper brand name stores and things just look cheap (even when they aren't).  I'm looking for something simple and elegant, but of obvious quality, I guess we'll see how it goes.  One of the reasons that I chose to start with this jeweler is that he does a lot of custom work and writes a great informational blog about diamonds and jewelry shopping.  From the blog he sounds like someone who is out to help you get the very best you can afford and isn't out to price-gouge you, reading his blog just gives me a good feeling.  If he is as nice and helpful as I think he is I'll post his website.